You avoid playing with a string that is too loose or too taut.Right Effort means your actions have good intention and are purposeful, yet are also joyful and not forced. Instead of sitting at home eating Bon Bons or playing World of Warcraft, try one of these simple actions to make it easier for the universe to give you what you want: You don’t know how things will play out.You can't force someone like that to change his focus. " And then you might begin to obsess about how you are so unique in your suffering— ME: Like how I must be the only woman in all of New York City who is in her thirties and has never been in love before, for instance? HOW TO REMIND YOURSELF YOU'RE NOT ALONE IN THIS CRAZY DATING WORLD!HOW TO DEAL IF YOUR SELF-ESTEEM HAS TAKEN AN UNPAID VACATION ... But what happens when I get home and feel like crap about how badly I was treated? BRAD: Well, maybe you get home and say to yourself: "I'm so mad! ME: I guess you just proved that, by telling me you had an almost identical experience.BRAD: Let your emotions come up and recognize them and move on. And you know, I think my blog readers really help me (and each other) to feel less alone in the world.So it seems that what you're saying is: Let people who don't seem interested go.The Buddha asked the monk Sona, “Is it true that before you became a monk you were a musician? The Buddha asked, “What happens if the string of your instrument is too loose?” “When you pluck it, there will be no sound,” Sona replied. ” “It will break.” –Thich Nhat Hanh, The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching In the Buddhist philosophy there is something called the Noble Eightfold Path.
The Solution: You employ “Right Effort,” putting your energy in the right place, but letting go of control of the outcome. Over a couple months, I went out with about twenty different people, some for one date, some for several dates, and some for a month or more.
Familiar as that might sound, it was good to hear what Whitney was explaining—so good that I decided to find out if there was some Buddhism guru out there who might have some tips about how to "stay Zen" while dating. And I can't get anyone to write me back on the stupid dating sites. Any thoughts on how I can deal with something like that if it happens again? It was a typical Hollywood gathering—meaning most of the people there were looking to meet someone who would further their careers!